Behind the layers of painful conclusions about who we are, there is nothing that should be hidden, or could be wrong in the first place.
How can a child be guilty of expressing the wrong things? What else can it do but express life in complete innocence?
To see that there is no cause, no guilt, is the first step in coming to rest in who we are.
Now let’s look into what it means to return home.
Returning home is recognising you are whole already. It’s realising that there is no need to repair yourself or restore something, or finally become a better person. It is understanding that you no longer have to heal yourself but can trust and embrace every inch of who you are.
The habit of thought
Recognizing that we are whole already is like making a u-turn. It’s like coming back from a long, virtual trip searching for healing and acknowledgement outside of ourselves, realising that what we were looking for was always right here. And although we might resonate with the notion of being complete and OK and feel deep peace for a moment when we let this idea sink in, the habit of thought isn’t so easy to break. We have been investing in overcoming our hurt our whole lives, so how can we just drop our story and suddenly be…home in just the way we are? Can we trust this? Could it be that simple?
Old fears will rise
Right where we felt unloved, not seen or cared for, we sort of froze, sometimes at a very early age. Connecting with these parts again will melt the contraction, bringing them back to life. This may feel wonderful, but also vulnerable and delicate. Especially when we are around other people fear can come up: will we be rejected again? Can we trust our own feelings and expressions and be open or will we be laughed at, or even cut to pieces? The old conclusions will rise, just because they can, because they automatically did for so long. It doesn’t mean much in itself, but it can be very difficult to stay clear and not buy into it.
So what can be helpful here?
Let’s bring in a companion to remind us to stand up for who we are. To stay strong where we feel vulnerable in trusting ourselves and keeping our ground. Let’s welcome our inner Lion.
Meeting our inner Lion
When we really listen, we know perfectly well what we want, what we need, what we do not like or when somebody steps on our toes. We do know. We all have this inner Lion that will let us know in an instant. We all have the natural ability to snarl when someone irritates us, to purr when we enjoy ourselves, to use our teeth when we must and roar when we feel humiliated or angry.
It’s not only the ability to express these emotions but also to just be who we are, feel what we feel, enjoying our own form.
We all have the ability, but we might have locked it away because we learned to be harmless and easy, or not attract too much attention. Or maybe we have a paper lion that jumps to attack whenever we are triggered but is not connected to what we really feel or want. What about your Lion? Can you feel its presence or does it seem to be miles away? How do you two get on?
You may want to investigate this yourself.
What happened in your childhood when you expressed what you wanted or did not want? When you said no? When you felt good about yourself? Can you see why you came to ignore your Lion?
Remember the innocence of it all. Remember that your inner Lion is just expressing life.
And take the time to get to know it and love it for what it is.
Enjoying our personal colours
When we relax into who we are, our personal colours might become a little brighter. Our specific ways may become more outspoken because we don’t invest so much anymore in how we should be. We make mistakes, we are stupid sometimes, we are brilliant, lovely, angry and grumpy and that is all fine. And we may find that most people welcome us in this more outspoken way and some won’t.
When old fear comes up or we feel confused or vulnerable, we can ask the Lion.
What would it do? Is it time to snarl, time to relax or time to roar? Or do you need to cut the cords here, no longer holding on to what is harmful for you? Just imagine the Lion’s behaviour. Close your eyes and watch. You may be surprised.
Back to self love
The Lion is not your better self. The Lion is just a metaphor to wake up and trust your natural ability to be yourself. To take care of you, and enjoy who you are, even when it means that you have to stand alone for a while.
Love has two sides, a connecting and transforming quality but also the quality of cutting through what is false. Love is both: the gift of softness and the roar of the Lion.
Embracing Your Power with Esther Teule – In this meditation, we investigate our inner beliefs about strength and power. Come to recognise how we might play small when we are not.