Yes, you read that right…fear of the positive.
It is not necessarily that we don’t want positive things to happen in our lives. On the contrary, we do our very best to let that happen – that’s why we do yoga, have a spiritual teacher or practise things like gratefulness.
What we’re afraid of, is positive internal change. Like being more relaxed, more spontaneous, creative and happy. That we may become, without any change in our outer circumstances, more accepting, less judgmental, more compassionate and loving – this might freak us out!
Dropping your armour
For the above things – all natural qualities – to happen, you have to allow your practice to melt your inner walls. This might not sound so scary on the face of it, but let me say the same thing with different words: let your guard down, be open and vulnerable, let go of your protection. Suddenly that may have a different effect on you, but essentially it’s the same thing.
We can do practices that help us to become more happy and relaxed but if we’re not aware of the fear of the positive, we may fall off track the moment some real inner change is about to happen.
Is this you?
You might recognise this in yourself if you’ve committed to a regular yoga practice. Everything is going fine then all of a sudden you feel like giving up. You decide something else is more important, or you don’t feel like doing it anymore, or you just simply ‘forget’ it. There can be all kind of reasons for this, but usually one of the main reasons is fear of the positive. Fear of actual sustainable change. Fear to be without the old protections (tensions and blocks) that you’ve brought with you from your past.
How to deal with it
1. Be aware of it
First of all, be aware that there is such a thing as fear of the positive. This is a huge step. Not many people are ready to acknowledge that they are, at some deep level, afraid of actually blossoming, afraid of being without their usual armour.
Fear of the positive is not so different from the fear of moving into the unknown.
2. It’s progress!
Secondly, know that this fear is part of the process. It’s a sign that you’re progressing, that you’re on the verge of some real change. Your work is bearing fruit!
3. Touch it
Thirdly, allow yourself to get in touch with the fear, then use whatever technique you know to deal with it. Fear is fear, whether it’s of something positive or something negative. I use for example the Quantum Light Breath. A strong and beautiful breathing meditation by Jeru Kabbal.
4. Welcome it
Fourthly, welcome it. It’s telling you that it is time to say goodbye to some old habits and boundaries. Remember, it is natural to be a bit wobbly when real change is happening. Give yourself space to make the transition and settle into the new body, the new you.
5. Keep going!
Last but not least, continue your practice. It is working!
Become aware of old beliefs that don’t serve you any longer and learn how to let them go in this 20 minute meditation with Esther Teule. Meditation on unconscious patterns